Apr 19, 2010

Lately I have been searching for really good illustration agencies to represent me. One of which I REALLY like is Heart Agency & I finally heard back from them today. They emailed saying that they aren't interested in representing me..... :( You know something.... I am totally bummed, and I will be honest...when I read things like that pertaining to my work it just makes me want to give up on everything all together. I think about those people who seem to get everything they work on soooo easily. It is weird. Why? Why do some people struggle more than others? I wish there was an answer to that question, but there is not. Yesterday in church, this girl who is new in my ward was giving a talk in Sacrament and was talking about how she had just graduated from BYU-Idaho and was trying to decide whether or not she should stay in Idaho or move to Utah and that this was a REALLY big decision for her [I confess...I was laughing to myself and thinking, this is a BIG decision for you?] anyways after weeks of weighing out the pros and cons and praying about it, she decided to move to Salt Lake City. The day she packed her car up and got ready to get on the road, she got a call from a company that she applied for a job through and they told her they would like to hire her. She then went on to say that she knew for sure her decision to move to Salt Lake was the right one. I have heard a dozen or so stories like this in the past year. And then I find myself analyzing ME and wondering...what am I doing wrong? Why does it seem like I have been in a never.ending.marathon?! I have heard and experienced that when someone looses a loved one or goes through a divorce [divorce for me] that there are 5 stages of grief and loss = 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance +++ I have to admit that my divorce compared to some of my friends was pretty mild....and those 5 stages didn't happen soon after...it took a looong time for it to actually sink in.

Isn't funny how things work out? I really feel like my second time around here in Utah has felt like the stages of grief and loss, and I think [ I HOPE ] I am now at the acceptance stage. And have come to fully realize, that everything I put my heart and soul into isn't going to be excepted by everyone, no matter how AWESOME I think my work is! hahaha lol... A couple things that do keep my pushing forward though is the knowledge of knowing that hundreds of well known/famous artists, musicians, writers, entrepreneurs etc. all went through rejection. Not just once but many many times! My mom is a great example of this. Back in the late 80's early 90's she and her business partner and co/author Pauline Hatch wrote a book together called "It's Here Somewhere" I remember my mom telling me when I was younger how many rejections she and Pauline got from publishing houses. Finally after about 50! or so, Readers Digest picked it up and published it! I love that my mom and Pauline kept per-suing what they believed in and knew what they were really good at >>> ORGANIZATION! Had they given up
after the 10th, 20th publisher...they would have had nothing. I also believe we are only given challenges that "the man above" knows we can handle. And looking at the glass half full, I think I can handle being rejected many times... 100 times...1,000 times! [oh dear GOD PLEASE don't let it be 1,000! heheh lol]

But seriously:

The reason why I even write about this and bare my soul to you all [believe me, I feel like a total retard announcing things like "I GOT REJECTED!] is that I like to write about the up's & downs of my process in trying to become an established illustrator. It is my hope that those of you who may be experiencing the same situations as I, will feel a little better and know that this doesn't last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...and some people's tunnels are shorter than others. That is just how it is & as confused as I might be at times and ask why? and a little sulky...........overall...it is okay... It is! :)

p.s. Happy 61st Birthday Mom! I love & admire you so much! You have done and will continue to do amazing things! You have accomplished a lot and have raised some awesome kids! <- FYI, I have COOL brothers & sisters you guys! I do! ;[)


lazytronix-b said...

I think people who have a defined and unique vision don't get ahead as easily as ones who mould their visions to what has already been done and consequently what is perceived as 'comfortable', and that is what seperates the great from the good. Obstacles make us stronger and better, and you must (we do!!) know how brilliant you already are.

Maeve said...

Oh Roxy, I'm so sorry you didn't get snatched up and whirled away by an agency! I just don't understand it. Your drawings are amAzing! I'll write soon with a cheering drawing! Sorry I'm such a slow coach at replying...gah! Take care. xx

Lena said...

you are such an incredible illustrator roxy!! i have to admit i'm jealous of your talent sometimes. :)

have you tried cwc-i? they do a lot of work with japanese companies and i think that would be a good fit for you. plus the owner is really nice!


Lena said...

ps: they rep one of my fave illustrators, marcus oakley!

Suz said...

Keep on keeping on. Which poster for muse is yours? I want to vote for it.

Sanne said...

Hi Roxy, don't give up, your work is wonderful! I know the feeling :-/ But! there are so much more possibilities! It takes time to find them, i am sure you will.

Eva / Sycamore Street Press said...

Roxy, you are such an amazing illustrator! I know you will get the big break you deserve! I've been rejected many, many times in my life, so I know it can be discouraging...but you'll show them!

ROXY MARJ said...

THANKS friends!

Lazytronix-b = totally agree, obstacles do make us stronger! & you have enlightened me.... I never thought about that "great from the good" ;)

Maeve! NOOOOO WORRIES! penpalship is NOT supposed to be a stressful thing...you write whenever lady ;)

Lena! DON'T YOU DAAAARE be jealous of my talent...LOOK AT YOU LADY! You have done sooo much, I totally look up to you and appreciate the short internship I had with you a couple summers past...so SO fun! :) <3 p.s. LOVE Marcus as well. Met him at one of his shows 3 years ago and he was sooo awesome.. I asked if he would be interested in doing a collaboration on handkerchiefs with me and he was totally down with it and asked me a couple of times on how it was going...I flaked out because of school... :( but no I have not checked with that agency, and I will now. Thanks for the heads up!

Thanks SUZ! My poster is the animal heads one! ;)

Sanne... no worries, I won't. It is nice to know that I have friends [online or offline] who have experienced the same and can relate...

Eva - Thank you! yeah... I know this is the process..I think this whole year has just been a lot to take in...would have preferred it in small doses! :/ p.s. WE NEED to get together soon! AGH!!!

Craig Barlow B. said...

1. Once I get rejected to every law school I applied to I will be able to better share well-chosen words of empathy. It should just take a few more weeks.

2. I think your art is fantastic. In fact, I have short-term plans to buy one of the deals you have on your buying-stuff-site. Currently I don't have the money required to get myself a hamburger. But once I do, your work is one of my first priorities. I just hope they aren't all gone by then.

Lyn said...

man getting rejected never is easy. your illustrations are original and awesome, roxy. keep peddling up that hill, you'll get to the top!

we have all been there in one way or another. i can sympathize with you. you're brave. it's never easy putting yourself out there, never mind putting your artwork out there. rooting for you!

ROXY MARJ said...

craig, a couple things:

1. I hope you don't get rejected from law school!

2. I can totally relate in the money dept.

3. Thanks for liking my artwork. no worries about feeling like it will all be gone by the time you can get something.... It won't be I promise...I will now share a little secret with you...I am BIG on trading! I am! ;)

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