Jan 30, 2013

We all have little things we like to keep to ourselves...one of those things for me is my love for Milk Magazine [no longer a secret] in any language! I think it was 2 years ago that I made a goal for myself to stop buying so many magazines...and i've done pretty well actually...I dwindled it down to my "must need/read" magazines which is only 3 really. Milk is one of them. And apparently they are sticking to putting out english copies now! For over a decade i've been buying Milk in either French or Japanese, never knowing what the heck they're talking about...but not caring either because their spreads and ads are just that good....but so excited for English versions now.

Jan 28, 2013

Finally saw the sun today....it feels like it's been 2 weeks...really. I don't know if you've heard but apparently Utah has had the worst air quality this year [or just winter?] out of all the states. Laying on our bed this afternoon and basking in the sunlight sure did my mind and body some good. My body's been needing some vitamin D.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tonight I will be working super late, adding a bunch of new prints to the shop...
like this one below, part of my Native Bear series...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Annnnd FINALLY had the photoshoot with my new 4 coloring posters! This bad weather we keep getting bombarded with just continues to push deadlines back...however, things could be worse huh... so I just need to count my blessings and remember that. :]

Jesse took the photos, these kids are just so so darling! Thank you Kim, Tara, Ashley & Stephanie for letting me use your adorable and very patient children! And thank you Kim and Wyatt [boy in the bear mask] for letting us use your beautiful home and being such great hosts! 

got some much needed shots with my coloring books too! :-)

Jan 25, 2013

I would say that more than half of the world's population are visual learners and speakers, I definitely fall in this category as I assume all creative's do. So when I get asked [often] by people "What do you do for work?" my brain instantly goes into hyperventilation mode, alarms sound off, panic creeps in and I scramble for the words to describe what I do.... it's not that i'm embarrassed about what I do [I LOVE what I do] it's that i'm embarrassed that I don't know how to eloquently explain w/out being long winded what I do and...I kinda do a lot of different things I guess..... I long for the day when I have finally overcome that darn syntax of mine! :/

Well, luckily I am friends with two very talented people who make some of the prettiest and classiest films you will ever see. Their attention to detail blows my mind. I asked husband and wife duo Matt and Julie Walker of Tiger in a Jar if they would be interested in making a film of me doing what I do. Is it too weird to say that their film of me gives me goosebumps?  So now if anyone wonders what I do, I have a visual explanation to show them. :] Thank You Matt and Julie!

a still shot from the movie

the film: 

Jan 23, 2013

A classmate of mine from Parsons and one of my favorite designers from our graduating class, Lee Anderson, asked if I would contribute to her magazine Potluck this year. I just received my copy in the mail yesterday and am so impressed with Lee even more! She was someone I definitely looked up to in school, not just because of how amazing of a designer she is...but she seemed to do it all so effortlessly.... love being around people like that.

I had Jesse photograph some of my favorite pages from this years Potluck. 

Another thing about Lee....she has her own line called Starkweather, which is mainly outerwear pieces...I believe she will be adding accessories as well [?] I look forward to that day when I get to own some Starkweather pieces of my own, they have such a modern timelessness to them. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

a few things that make me happy: 

yarn with a face + finding my old 3D glasses [paper] + Harely wearing my 3D glasses

Jan 21, 2013

Finished up designing my new set of coloring posters... A new character you will see on one of the coloring posters is my yellow billy goat named Sylvie... I had so much fun illustrating her that I to make a little gif [to the right ] of her along with some fun patterns... would love to have these printed on silk and cotton voile... :) someday.

I kept forgetting that Jesse and I were going to be out of town Saturday and Sunday. So what  began as a normal work day Friday morning turned into a packing/cleaning frenzy before heading out. Hence, me forgetting to post on here who won Rike's fantastic giveaway! Well, wonder no longer. :) I'm going to try and do a giveaway every two weeks...if you'd like to be a part of that, holla back girl or boy! And thank you all for entering, it was really fun to read what products of Rike's you liked and how you would use it or put it in your home. :)

Jan 16, 2013

GIVE.A.WAY.... giveaway! 

It's been awhile, no? :] 

This AWESOME giveaway is brought to you by the lovely Rike and her doggie Basti in Germany of bastisRIKE a blog I thoroughly enjoying looking through & reading! There's a sweetness there that has me coming back for more. :)

Rike takes such beautiful photos...and getting sneak peaks of her home makes me wish we were neighbors, i'd be hanging out at her place all day long. Don't mind me Rike....and I want to cuddle with her little doggie too. :)

Rike has been generous enough to let one lucky winner choose between the three following items: 

Enter by clicking "add to favorites" on Rike's Etsy shop and then leave a comment as to which of the items you would love to own. :) Pretty easy huh?  Giveaway ends Friday at 5pm, winner will be chosen through random.org. Good luck! And THANK YOU Rike & Basti for participating! xo

A very long post: 

Last night my friend Jaclyn asked me to speak to her young women's group on "finding who you are & being okay with your own personal style" I had a great time meeting these girls and their other leaders. It was my first time speaking to a group in depth about my life growing up, feeling insecure, and other personal issues.

Then when I went to bed last night I couldn't sleep... my mind was flooded with all these things I forgot to talk about and wish I would have remembered...and then basically went back and relived my some childhood memories, finally falling asleep around 5am...

Some pictures of me when I was little ... feeling often like an ugly duckling and many times awkward, comparing myself to the other cute girls around me at church & school ....not being okay with who I was and knowing my self worth. I think this is a normal thing to feel when you're young but too bad you don't know that when you're young huh... :/

I'm a little older now in these photos and had pretty much grown into my personality [which I believe has maintained consistency to this day] extrovert, loyal friend, loves to make people laugh... but still not feeling totally okay with myself... i.e. looks and how people perceive me.

When I entered high school that's when I really started to figure out my personal style, it took a long time...but it's when I officially started paying attention to what I liked and didn't like. Again, this is normal for most teens I think. Through most of my childhood and teen years I had pretty long hair...and never thought anything of it except that it was a constant issue of how to maintain
that wild thick mane of mine... wearing it in a bun or ponytail was always my go to....

Well, it wasn't until the end of my junior year of high school that I realized how much impact hair can make on the people around you and in yourself.... I was in beauty school through a program my high school had set up...and one day I decided that I wanted to chop all my hair off. With out asking my parents for permission [I was 17 and thought that my hair was mine for some reason] I chopped it all off at the beauty school that day... the haircut wasn't the best, but I loved it. It felt like a weight [literally] had been lifted off my shoulders, and I felt like a new girl inside... 1/2 of the people around me in my life at the time, did not have the same feelings and because of their own insecurities started to treat me differently.... meaning, they weren't as nice. :( Had I known the repercussions that would have followed after cutting my hair, I may not have gone through with it...but my personality by then was very independent and one that didn't care what other's thought...yet, I still struggled inside with my own inner/outer beauty. What a weird dichotomy.  

A couple months later we had moved to Alpine Utah [what I like to call Mormon Hollywood] as planned and that was when I really started to have fun with my hair. Bleaching it, coloring my bangs different colors.... nothing unusual now, probably still is in Alpine, or at least looked down on still...but again, it was interesting to see people's reactions. I never have been the type of person to do "crazy" things to get a reaction, but i'm sure I came across that way. So for the next couple years I had my short hair...and honestly most of the time, it was a haircut that I could never really get comfortable in because I myself wasn't comfortable in my own skin. 

Two years later I move to New York, a couple weeks shy of turning 19 and it was a year later that I started growing my hair out again. The 9 years I spent in New York were some really good ones. Good for the reason that I truly found out who I was inside and out. This is what our twenties are all about, right?  And then I enter Parsons School of Design, and in enters my self worth again. Feeling more confident but definitely insecure, not knowing whether or not i'm as good of an artist/designer as I thought I was. One thing that I knew for sure though was that I was never going to be a high fashion designer [I admire so much those who are!] I knew early on that the styles I was attracted to had some sort of folk art/heirloom quality. I have always loved anything Native American just because of their craftsmanship and the way they utilized simple patterns...anyways, i'm at Parsons seeing everyone around design these gorgeous amazing pieces...and then compared to my stuff... it felt dowdy? :/ I questioned inside CONSTANTLY whether or not I should give up what really speaks to me, and do what my classmates are doing...or just stick to what I know truly makes me happy. Well I stuck to what I loved and then came Senior Year and my thesis presentation. My collection was based off the book "The Ox Cart Man" illustrated by Barbara Cooney you can see the collection HERE I was so nervous to present my teen collection, because I  was not presenting my with class in front of the childrens wear panel but in front of the evening wear panel due to me being out of town the week before. So when I say evening wear, I mean these dresses you guys were stunning! Just beautiful, and then there's little old me and my children's book collection talking about my wool ice skating skirt and hand knit dress... I was feeling INSANELY nervous. My name gets called and it's my turn to step in front of the panel  [and  about 500 other people in the audience]and talk about my collection. Each student had 9 min. to talk and you could go on if the panel liked you....well most of the panel really seemed to like me and my collection, because I was there longer than 9 min. I do remember this one older gentleman though just starring me up and down and never saying a word, he was so intimidating and still to this day I sometimes wonder what he was thinking.  

But I remember one specific question that was asked from Mickey Boardman [editor of Paper Magazine pictured below] and this was his question: "I adore your collection, but how do you fit in here among people who are doing high fashion?" said in his hilarious feminine twang. :) Isn't he so cute!?! I wish I was related to him! :-[)

I don't remember my response [luckily though I do have my whole presentation on video] but I know it made the whole audience laugh. After everyone in that group had presented the panel then votes for who their favorite was which then gets put into the voting for the opportunity to show your collection at the gala dinner. I didn't show at the gala and I knew I wouldn't anyways, that would have been fun...but was never a goal of min. However, after the presentations were over, Mickey Boardman and another lady [I wish for the life of me I could remember her name] who was a contributor to Vogue magazine rushed up to me afterwards to give me a hug me and tell me how much they loved me, my presentation and my collection. This little experience has been one that has definitely shaped my life going forward. One of things they both said to me was that they were excited to see where I go with Roxy Marj and hopefully that I will continue designing and staying true to myself! :) I'm sure they have forgotten all about me and those impressionable words they said, but I have never forgotten about them. 

It's little moments like that that we have to cling on to for dear life and TRUST the people who see our value and self worth even if we don't at the moment. I left Parsons and New York City feeling good about myself and what was to come. However, moving here to Utah brought on a whole new idea of self worth which i've talked about here on my blog before....

But back to my hair... I basically came full circle with deciding 6 months after getting married [almost 2 years ago!] that I wanted to cut my long hair off. I went shoulder length this time to be "safe"....but then 4 months later I decided to take it short again. :) This time I truly loved it, and what made me love it even more was how much Jesse loved it. I gotta a lot of interesting reactions - ones that were all too similar back to when I was 17 ...However, this time... I knew and still know my inner beauty. I feel confident with myself now that if even I was to get into some freak accident and my face burned off that I would still be myself and love who I was... Our self worth is constantly challenged every day when we have media in our faces 24/7 telling us what is beautiful. It's really hard to focus on the inside when everything around you is focusing on the outside. I've learned through my experiences though that if you can take care of the inside first...then your outside just seems to naturally take of itself...and soon...you will start to feel whole. :] 

Lastly, I made this little print for the girls last night to take home - it's a picture of me when I was 18...wearing a wig and paper glasses obviously... I remember laughing so hard after seeing this photo... it's a good reminder to have fun in life, and be comfortable in your own skin. :) 

a little video that makes me pretty emotional inside

*p.s. I apologize if some or all of this didn't make any sense. I've never claimed to be a good writer [I have obvious syntax problems] but I am a document-or of my life, and this is the best I can do when describing my thoughts and telling stories. :]

Jan 14, 2013

Organized my desk more over the weekend. I swear, this time next year i'll probably end up with only 1 thing on my desk [most likely a Muji pen] if I keep on the path of simplifying my life. It feels good...and the less I have the less anxiety I have. I need to re-read my favorite book: The Simple Home  and want to read this book about C.S. Lewis and his simple life.  Love this man, so much so I have a print of him in my shop...and thinking I need to do more.

But back to my desk, and getting organized. One of the main things that triggers me needing to organize more and more is if i'm constantly cleaning up after myself. I make a lot of messes every single day. This is something that will never stop, however...the time it takes me to clean up my messes has dropped significantly, and this is due to me limiting myself on the materials I use. I use to want to surround myself with soo many craft/art supplies thinking that it made me a better artist [?] but towards the end of college I started to work in just two mediums over and over again... Thus helping me realize...that I don't need all these other things, or at least I don't need them out. 

So little by little i've been shedding : 

My desk as of this morning

This probably might seem like a lot of clutter to some...but for a person who paints at least 4 hours a day...it's not too bad. :/ Saturday I spent more time than I would have liked looking online for containers to hold my pens/brushes/scissors etc. The one's I liked were over $100 and with a student loan debt of over $200,000 now...that wasn't happening...at least not for something that I could easily make or go without. So I did what my mother taught me best and utilized what we had. I found 4 cans in the garbage left from our fajita dinner and then cut into my black suede. Stitched up covers with my twine, and tada! I had 4 new holders in less than 30 min. :) 

I also ended up painting my clip board and making a little calendar for it to be best friends with.
The baking tin was something I found a couple months ago at the thrift store [they have tons and tons of these] and spray painted half of it. 

and then I found some little frames for some of my Native American postcards...painted an old oval mat and cut around it with my pinking sheers... and hung them in the corner. The little diamond picture of Red Riding Hood and the Wolf has a lot of symbolism for me. I have another picture of that scene downstairs in my studio...and found this extra one Saturday and knew instantly what to do with it. It like that image because R.R.H reminds me of me [not literally] and the Wolf reminds me of the Adversary [I do believe in Satan, but as an actual being] and how he will try everything in his power to make sure I fail, and wants nothing more but to see me unhappy [read The Screwtape letters by C.S. Lewis & this will make more sense if your confused] anyways...When I see this image, it reminds me to be strong and don't let my feelings..i.e. insecurities...or other people's insecurities stop me from being happy & achieving my dreams. 

Lastly, while going through old portfolios, I came across some familiar friends I painted back in 2009, which I think need to be resurrected... if they can be on their best behavior that is. :)

So, with all that said... I hope your weekend was productive and relaxing as well! 

I have a lot of catch up work [still battling this head cold/sinus infection?] and will see you back here on Wednesday with a pretty awesome giveaway! Oh! AND I will be part of a giveaway over at P.S. I ADORE YOU later this week as well... if you haven't been to their site, and want to help children with cancer I suggest you check this site out, these ladies are do amazing things! 

Jan 11, 2013

Yesterday was super productive. I actually should be patting myself on the back for everything I got done yesterday.... hey Harley...wanna pat my back for me? ................. silence .................... He just looked up from his newspaper he's reading... rolls eyes and goes back to his paper... oh and get this, he ordered himself a pair of reading glasses on Amazon the other day! He thinks he's some
kind of scholarly dog now that he's over 10 years old....anyways, back to this pat on the back. 

I finally tackled the paper work side of Roxy Marj. Got myself a binder, dividers, hole punched paper etc. and a notebook to copy all my business notes in. I spent about 8 hours [not exaggerating]
writing everything down, organizing my sections, crunching numbers...you name, I did it.  

How this happened was when I was driving to the post office yesterday morning and then had this thought to myself "what if Barbara Corcoran or any investor for that matter came over to our house to meet with me and wanted to talk about my business...would I be prepared?...HECK NO!" 
So this kicked my butt into gear and I went to town. I can say that if I was ever to have an impromptu meeting now regarding Roxy Marj...i'll be 100% ready! So... I share this with you all because if you're in the same boat and find yourself unorganized on the business side of things... best to have that same reality check thought I did yesterday and get it taken care of! AND...i'm so ready to tackle my taxes...something that has really freaked the living daylights out of me.

The little notebook that I bought to go in my binder and keep all my business notes in
had some words written on it that caught my eye....... 

I normally don't buy things like this because I like plain and simple notebooks w/out writing on them ... but these words are right up my alley...an anyone else who aspires to be like this. ;)
 I liked the last line best: SHE SEES POSSIBILITY EVERYWHERE... so inspiring! 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This morning I took this photo of Jesse [my husband] I love him, and look up to him a lot!

but before taking that photo....  I took some outside. The one's of me Jesse took [obviously] :)
It's been another crazy snow storm for all of us here in Utah... man I wish I had kids right now!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...