Feb 14, 2012

Happy Valentines Day friends!

I have been thinking about Valentines Day for the past week and what I specifically wanted to share with you all on my blog. And it really wasn't until this morning that I realized I hadn't talked about one of the best books that helped me get to know myself better and those around me. The 5 Love Languages written by Gary Chapman and recommended by my dear friend Kamilah Cole.  For those of you who haven't read this book ---- GO READ IT! It is short, simple & straightforward! You will learn how to communicate love better and hopefully expect a lot less from others, in a way that makes you so much happier.

The 5 love languages are: 

words of affirmation
quality time
receiving gifts
acts of service
physical touch

My love language [in-case you're interested] is acts of service...and Jesse's is physical touch.  The book talks about how whether we know or love language or not, we expect our partner to know it and to know how to always make us feel loved. Well, that's not realistic or healthy to put our "happiness" onto someone else's shoulders...that's a caaaaaaraaaazzzzy burden if you ask me! <- But that's a whole other topic a little farther down...:-[) That's right, this post is crazy in love about all things having to do with love! Read on my friend. :) annnyways...after reading this book, it helped me not only learn about what makes me feel loved [acts of service:  my good friend Megan who has been picking me up from work every day for the last month because of Jesse having to work late each night...and not only does she pick me up, but she is always happy to see me and never once has made me feel like I am a burden... She is such an example to me and I look up to her in so many ways. This simple act of kindness from Megan has made me love her so much more. ] but to try and figure out other people's love languages.  I knew Jesse's right away because when we started dating, one night I was rubbing my fingers through his hair and basically melted right in my lap. It was so cute...he becomes this little puppy...and one of his favorite things is having me hug him as hard as I can...which then wears me out afterwards because he is a very big man. 

Another thing I wanted to share is this article I found titled "How to Know It's Real Love" by Martha Beck
This article is a great read. Especially if you are someone who has been struggling with find true love. What I got from Beck's advice is that first, you need to love yourself by figuring out what you like and do those things on your own. Don't live your life through your partner, and allow your partner to live his or her own life as well...[this will make more sense if you read the article] and she mentioned honesty and communication multiple times. For a relationship [ANY RELATIONSHIP] to be real and lasting....you need honesty. You need to be able to be honest and except it as well...how your communication is delivered is a whole other topic, hopefully it is with the utmost love and concern for the other person to grow and be better, but you get what I am saying right?

With that said, having a relationship where there is open communication and both parties are totally honest about everything <- which means, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and maybe even feeling uncomfortable will result in having the best relationship ever. Especially when intimacy is concerned. I tell my girlfriends this all the time: Communicate. Be honest, and trust that he or she will love you no matter what....

Lastly, a dedication. To my best friend : Whom I love spending as much time with as possible, but I love it just as much when he is with his buddies or even working on his own projects alone. I love seeing Jesse learn and grow, and love that he allows me to do the same... I heard this song "4th & Vine" just yesterday from Sinead O'connor's new album coming out appropriately titled: "How About I Be Me [And You be You] and thought: "Ah! I have to dedicate this song to Jesse!" :-[)  listen....and you'll see why! xo

p.s. Jesse's grandma made this birthday card for him last year....sooo cute!


pikkujen said...

Thanks so much for linking to that article! So many simple truths. I can see why you have such a lovely relationship if you live by those words :)

ROXY MARJ said...

Pikkujen, thanks for your comment! :) And by leaving one I found your blog and the cabin p0rn site which I am in love with...

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